


Rapunzel or Whatever

by poD7et, rabidbinbadger



Series: Tales from the Bunker [2]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: DEANIE WEANIE WROTE A STORY, F/M, he's super proud of it and you should all pay attention
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-13
Updated: 2016-05-13
Packaged: 2018-06-08 05:18:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 712
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6840514
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/poD7et/pseuds/poD7et, https://archiveofourown.org/users/rabidbinbadger/pseuds/rabidbinbadger
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This is Dean's story. Not in like an artsty wanky way - this is Dean's story: a story of life and death, suffering and MASSIVE GAY PANIC. I mean this is literally Dean's story. THe story what he wrote.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Rapunzel or Whatever

The look on Dean’s face when he hears he’s going first could best be described as ‘shitting a brick’, but he doesn’t argue. He just wants to get this over and done with. Maybe if he goes first all the rest will be so terrible that no-one will remember. 

Please?

Becky coughs dramatically, making sure she has everyone’s attention, and then she begins.

“The princess looks up at the devastatingly handsome prince looming over her. His bright blue eyes are boring into hers, all smouldery and sexy, and he’s grinning this wild, feral grin. He runs a hand through his dishevelled hair, messing it up even more than it was before. The princess gasps as she takes in his toned body, glistening with sweat that drips down over his rock hard abs. He’s so hench and gorgeous, she wants to run her hands over his chest, feel those big, strong muscles contract under her touch, muscles that could be used to pick her up, throw her around and fuck her good.”

Dean makes a strangled gulp, but Becky ploughs on.

“His tanned skin glows in the sunlight. He looks like every wet dream she’s ever had since she was little, thoughts of big, strong, handsome men who could satisfy her most secret desires, ones she doesn't dare express to anyone. Her eyes catch on his happy trail, a few hairs that lead down to his crotch, where among dark hair nestles his throbbing monster erection—” Becky looks up sharply, mouth hanging half open. “Dean, did you write porn?”

“I- I, yeah. That’s what you wanted, wasn’t it?”

“No! I wanted a fairytale! Something magical. Not some random het sex. This isn't good enough. I don’t even know what fairytale it’s supposed to be!”

“Dean, what the fuck?” Sam adds, finally regaining his voice. That, that was uncomfortable. And also like, super gay. Right? It’s not just him, is it? That was the gayest straight sex a man has ever written, right? Like, maybe it gets better, but right now, it’s like. Yeah. 

Also, the prince was totally Cas. Like, come on. Blue eyes, sex hair, tanned skin and abs. Sam hasn’t seen Cas’s chest, but he’s seen the guy’s arms and well. They’re fucking tree trunks, is all he’s saying. And if he’s noticed that, Dean fucking has too. 

He glances over at Charlie, and she nods awkwardly. Super. Gay.

“Hey, I was just giving Becky what she wanted!” Dean defends himself lamely.” I didn’t know she’d read it out to everyone, did I?!”

“Dean, this isn’t a fairytale.” Becky presses. “You have to do a fairytale!”

“Alright, alright. Gimme the paper.”

She hands it over, and the rest of the group make super awkward eye contact while Dean scribbles out what he’d painstakingly typed and writes something else. Eventually he hands it back to Becky.

“Once upon a time there was a chick with like green eyes like grass or something super romantic and princessy like that and she lived in a castle and it sucked ass. Then one day this fit as fuck prince she’d always dreamed about came and killed the dragon or evil stepmom or whatever that was holding her hostage. Then because he was so hot and cool and badass the princess totally hit that and let him fuck her with his colossal pork sword. And they both lived happily ever after and had tonnes of hot dirty sex, the end. DEAN!”

“Hey, fuck you Becky. First, I thought we were doing this in confidence and only you would get to see it, second, I worked hard on that first one. I used a  _ thesaurus _ ” He treats the word with the same reverence a devout catholic would the holy bible, or my nan any swear word more offensive than  _ wanker _ . “You can’t just expect me to crap something else out in five minutes!”

“You’ve hurt his feelings.” Claire snarks.

Cas, meanwhile, is staying very, very quiet. Too quiet. Everyone else thinks it’s because he’s super awkward because of the vibes Dean is putting out, but that’s not the case at all. Actually he hasn’t been listening at all. He’s too busy world-building in his head. Because he's rude, but he's committed.

“Uh.” Becky sighs dramatically, “who’s next?"


End file.
